Don't People Get Superpowers This Way?

Next week, in the interest of science, and in the interest of making a quick $2100.00, I'll be injesting an investigational medicine for the treatment of Type-2 Diabetes as part of a clinical study.

The drug will have a little bit of radioactive material mixed in, and I'll be staying at the clinic for 10 days while the researchers use high-tech gadgetry to track the drug as it goes through my body.

I'm trying to decide what superpowers I'll gain by doing this. Perhaps a little spider DNA will accidentally get mixed in with the radioactive material and I'll soon be swinging through the streets of Seattle fighting crime. Or maybe I'll sprout wings, or become elastic, or be able to fire energy bursts out of my hands, eyes, or feet.

I'll let you know.